youre lurking in front of me
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
