Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
