You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
