Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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