saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
