My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Randomize
