lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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