You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Dignity is for republicans.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
