you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
