I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize