you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
