ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
