Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
