I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
