We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Found the puke drawer
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
