Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
