I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
