It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
They took my balls.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
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