Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
