"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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