Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
