I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
