last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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