shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
