problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
