I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
