I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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