your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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