Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
