But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I'm too high and old for this...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
