Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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