She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
