So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
