Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
