i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I could have mohawked her pubes.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
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