i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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