So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize