The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
