the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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