I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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