then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize