Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
