Are we in a gay sports bar?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
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