Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
