Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
