Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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