hotel room ftw
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize