their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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