Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
