I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
