singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize
