I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
