he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
