i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
