I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize