did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
