It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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