Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
