Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
