they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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