I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
