just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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