I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
