I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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