He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
