Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
