she looked like the bat from fern gully.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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