I'm eating all of the evidence.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
