remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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