Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Randomize
