I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
