Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
