I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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